


The One Where There Was Only One Bed in a Fairy Tale

by Amity_who



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 14:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18640201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amity_who/pseuds/Amity_who
Summary: Very silly business. As it says on the tin, there was only one bed.





	The One Where There Was Only One Bed in a Fairy Tale

Arthur sighed and leaned against the window’s bars. The window overlooked a stone courtyard 50 feet below. After his most recent dreamshare job had gone south, he’d been imprisoned by his angry wizard client in the top of this tower. This tall, stone tower, miles away from everything, in a room with bars on the window, and with a door that locked on the outside at the top of a long, winding, stone staircase.

A magical staircase, with no beginning or end, the wizard had cried. 

Arthur rolled his eyes. Amateur.

Arthur didn’t know how long he’d been here. More than a week. Less than a month. Thank god there was a working toilet. No other running water, unfortunately. He suspected he was beginning to smell a bit. The cuffs of his silk-blend dress shirt were certainly looking a tad grimy.

Arthur surveyed the room’s one shelf. The ramen noodles and bottled water were running low. Uncooked ramen noodles crumbled into a bottle of Dasani were not Arthur’s idea of haute cuisine, but captives couldn’t be choosers, he guessed. 

“Hello-o-o!” he called out the window, mainly for something to do. Wouldn’t you think that idiot wizard could have put one lousy book on that shelf? He’d have willingly read Fifty Shades of Grey by this point. Well, maybe not willingly.

The wizard had been furious. Arthur had done his due diligence, and there was nothing to indicate that the mark had ever even heard of dreamsharing, much less had his mind militarized against it. Even Arthur couldn’t know everything.

“You will never escape this tower, you knave. You will starve to death and rats will feast on your bones.”

“That’s murder, you know. Or at the very least manslaughter.” 

“Nonsense. I fully expect you’ll be rescued by some passing knight.”

Arthur had looked out across the vast, windswept plain. “Right.”

“But it won’t matter, because just over that rise is a fire-breathing dragon who will smite your would-be rescuer before he can ever reach you,” the wizard cackled triumphantly.

Arthur rolled his eyes, remembering. Melodramatic ass.

 

After the sun had crawled across its zenith and the shadows were lengthening in the courtyard, Arthur prepared his evening ramen noodles. Just then, he heard what sounded like horse hooves in the distance.

Arthur peered out the window trying to make out the advancing figure.

Who was that? Was that? No. Seriously? Eames? Eames was coming to rescue him?

“Oh, crap.” Arthur thumped his head against the bars twice.

“Darling, are you up there?” 

“Yes, Eames, I’m up here.”

“Stick your head through the bars, darling, and let me see that it’s really you. Ah, there’s my lovely Arthur. How do you plan to get down from there?”

“Really. I’m locked at the top of a fifty foot tower. You just rode up on a horse, and what on earth are you wearing? Armor? Where did you get armor? Never mind! You’re asking me how I plan to get down from here? I’m really not impressed right now, Eames.”

“Oh Arthur, you’re such a stick in the mud. I’m only having a bit of fun. You have no imagination.”

Arthur glared at him.

“Do you have a bed up there perchance, poppet? Blankets? Sheets, perhaps? Maybe a pocket knife?”

“Yes, fine, Eames! We’re making a rope. I get it.”

“Excellent. Carry on then.”

 

“Arthur, the sun’s gone down.”

“Thank you, Sir Obvious.”

“No, I mean, the shutters were burned up at the same time as the rope. It’s getting a bit chilly. Is there heat in this place?”

“No, Eames, no heat.”

“Oh, well, I have this lovely cloak.” Eames spread it out to the sides for Arthur to admire. “I think I look a bit like Dr. Strange in this, don’t you?”

Arthur had to laugh. “Low hanging fruit, Eames.”

“Ah, yes, and the dimples appear. Come here, love, let’s sit on the bed. I’ll wrap you up and keep you warm.”

Arthur snuggled against Eames’ chest, thought about other beds they could have shared. 

“Is anyone going to come looking for us, Eames?”

“Of course they will. Eventually.”

“There’s not much food left.”

Eames looked at the shelf. “That’s all?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah. Well, I shouldn’t worry, if I were you. We always manage to land on our feet.” Eames nuzzled against his temple, kissed him behind the ear.

“Eames, I’m sorry I forgot about the dragon.”

“Perfectly understandable, darling. You were so thrilled to see me, it went right out of your head.”

Arthur laughed again. 

“That must have been it.”

Arthur crawled onto Eames’ lap and kissed him softly, again and again.

“Eames, I know we always land on our feet, but just in case we don’t this time - “

“Arthur, no, darling, don’t. We’re going to be fine, I promise.”

“I know, but listen. I love you, you know that, right? I don’t know why I haven’t ever said - “

“Arthur please love, don’t. Seriously. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Do you love me too, Eames? I’ve always thought maybe you did.”

“Arthur, I adore you. You know I do. But I haven’t been totally honest with you.”

“No, don’t, Eames. Tell me later. Just lie down here with me now.”

Arthur pulled him down beside him.

 

Arthur woke the next morning cuddled against Eames’ side and wrapped up in the, frankly, alarming cloak.

“Eames! Arthur?”

Was that Ariadne? Arthur stuck his head out the window.

“Ari! We’re up here!!”

“Yes, of course you are. Is Eames up there with you? He’s such an asshole! Eames, get out here!”

Eames staggered to the window and glared down at their petite friend.

“Ari, dear. Honestly you’re such a harridan. You’ll wake the dead with your bellowing. Have you brought coffee with you by any chance?”

“No, Eames, but I’ve brought a rope with which to hang you. Stand back. I’ll shoot it up there with my crossbow.”

 

On the ground again, Arthur looked from Ari to Eames.

“Ari? How exactly did you find us?”

“Find you? I’m traveling with Eames. We came to get you. Do you have any idea how much Somnacin it takes to put a full-grown dragon to sleep? I had to go all the way back to the workshop.”

Arthur glared at Eames, who took a small step back.

“Arthur, don’t be like that, darling. After all, I did rescue you from imprisonment in a tower and a fire-breathing dragon.”

“Excuse me?” Ari was also glaring.

“With Ariadne’s inestimable assistance, of course. Arthurrrrr. I think we’re supposed to get married now and live happily ever after. Isn’t that the trope?”

Arthur shook his head and sighed, imagining years spent in the company of this infuriating madman. 

He bit his lower lip to keep from smiling. “Come along, Mr. Eames.”


End file.
